We live in a world, that is fast, active, and always on the go. At times when it feels like we need a break, the world around us does not stop. Leaving us no time to stop. Without a choice, we keep going. We push the emotions and feelings inside of us while attempting to live our lives outside of us.
As a result, we become numb. We are left frozen inside. Unable to feel. Unable to think. Unable to connect to ourselves as well as to those we love around us.
We manage to go throughout the day on autopilot and often without even realizing we are on autopilot. As we keep going our bodies go into survival mode.
We work because we have to work.
We eat because we have to eat.
We sleep because we have to sleep.
We socialize even at our lowest times.
We pile things on our plates.
We take our children to activities and sport programs.
We drive them places.
We attempt to clean our homes. We attempt to do laundry.
We do dishes.
We walk the dog. We play with the cat.
We take a shower.
We get groceries.
Sometimes, we exercise.
We pay the bills.
We put the stress aside, thinking that it is easier to ignore it than acknowledge it. Sitting in discomfort is uneasy. We get into a routine, repeating it over and over again. The same tasks. The same activities. The same chores. Our thoughts patterns and our behaviors get repetitive as our mind plays tricks on us, telling us that we are not worthy and leaving us to feel not good enough.
By the end of the day, we are exhausted physically and drained emotionally. There is no time left for ourselves, no time to process the emotions that have been bottled up throughout the day. There is no time to feel whatever is happening around us.
We become incapable of being present, unsatisfied in our beliefs, and unaware of our values. Slowly we stop looking after our own needs as we become trapped inside a caregiving role for others. We forget to care about ourselves. We forgot to love ourselves.
How much is too much?
What has got to give for you to be able to feel connected to yourself, loved by yourself, and accomplished by yourself?
It is not about doing things just because it is what is expected of you to do.
What it is you actually want to do?
Taking time to process our own needs is critical. If we continue to go on the way the world expects us to live, I can guarantee you that there will be a time in your life when you will mentally break. There will be a time when the stress becomes too much to handle and there will be a time when you start to feel that suicide is the only way out, the only solution to the stop the overwhelming feelings that pile within you.
Our lives can crash around us in the blink of an eye. Change is everywhere. We cannot avoid it, but we can prevent it from taking control of our meaning, blocking us from our purpose, and letting the negative vibrations overpower us.
Changes happen. In our lives, shit happens. It can be good or bad. Through change, the universe leaves us lessons, it makes us stronger, embodied, and connected to our truth.
Sometimes it may seem like we are lost and disconnected from ourselves, unable to see light. Sometimes our bodies become so full of thoughts, feelings, and emotions, it becomes impossible to process them all. It is easy for us to look for an escape and an alternative way out.
Have you ever thought that maybe instead of clawing ourselves to the surface outward, to go inward under the surface?
When you go under the surface, you are often left with no choice than to rip off the bandaids, address stress, confront whatever you pushed aside, and feel the emotions. When we are left with no other choice but to face our fears, sit in our discomforts and acknowledge our weakness, our thoughts, and our feelings, our actions begin to change.
The more we begin to explore how whatever is weighing on us, and addressing whatever is weighing on us, the more we can heal.
There is no magic solution. No special pill you can take. Our emotions and feelings take time to process and results from our actions take time. I get wanting to rush things, as that is the way we are used to doing things as a society. It will take time to figure out the formula that works for you.
You can start the surface inward by getting to know you again, figuring out who you are, how to light the truth inside of you and reintroduce yourself to your hopes and dreams.
The more you surface inward, the deeper the connection will grow within you and that will flow to your life outside of you.
It was only about a month and a half ago that my life suddenly changed. Everything somehow got unrouted. Things came crashing down around me. It was as if an explosion hit me, a tornado forming inside of me. I lost track of reality, lost hold of my goals, my hopes, and dreams. I was left with no choice but to face the discomfort and go under the surface to find me.
Admitting that I was struggling, that I needed help and asking for support was one of the hardest things I had to do. I became vulnerable and unable to deal with the panic attacks, flashbacks, dissociation, and nightmares from my childhood trauma. Creating a safe space around me, I let myself go through it, acknowledge it, and admit that I was hurting from it.
During this time, not only did I find myself sitting in some of the lowest moments, I learned who the people were in my life that utterly and truly supported me. I began to go through the days moment by moment. I started a journey to get to know myself and began to embrace myself again.
I still have a long road to my recovery ahead of me. But I am determined to not let the trauma take ahold of me as it did for so many years. I accept now that it is a part of me, but it will not control me.
When I started to embrace the aspects I did fully and truly love about myself, I started to step into action. The more steps I did take, I started to accept more aspects of me and an unconditional love started to build within me.
It is not there all the way yet, and I understand the process will take a while to repair and reprogram the damages that were done to me. Throughout my journey I have learned that my past does not define me, it has helped build me, but also put beliefs into my life that were not made for me.
Now, however, I am ready to take on the challenge to fully embrace all aspects of me, to learn to love everything within me, to fulfill my goals and dreams, and most importantly listen to what my intuition is telling me.
Now who wants to join me?